Blog off!

It's time to stop doing this blog... at least for now.

Its too depressing. Something about it is making me dwell on serious issues and spill my guts out across the internet.

Life is for living not wallowing in misery....its around us everyday ....so why should I push my thoughts into your day too, we've all got our own stuff to deal with.

Sorry if you've only just connected to it ... there are plenty other blogs out there to occupy your time with....try ones with bright coloured backgrounds , they are probably more jolly!!

Personally I'm going to have a cup of tea and some toast, think about positive things, concentrate on creative energy and leave the blog writing for quite a while.

When I return I'll be in a better frame of mind.

Today

The sun shines on Sunshine Meadows

A landmark week in my lifetime.

Maybe it's been a pretty non-descript week for lots of people, nothing much to write home about.

Globally there is always something dreadful happening, I know that, there is always a story on the news that shows something worse than your own situation. I know that. I'm not trying to say my week has been the worst on the planet...but its not been brilliant!

Maybe you have had a fantastic week. Thats wonderful.

We all have a different perspectives.

Have you suddenly looked at someone ( maybe a stranger) and thought "What is it like to live their life?" I have. Apart from my own challenges this week, the people around me have been experiencing such different scales of challenge. From zero challenge to maximum challenge.

It's been a week with too many juxtapositions, too many contrasts.

Life - Young - Celebrations - Love - Fantasy - Happiness - Creativity - New Beginnings - Hopes- Dreams - Togetherness - Strength - Support - Plans - Future - Present - Past - Old - Reality - Pain - Endings - Emptiness - Loneliness - Weakness - Dependence - Immobility - Sadness - Commiserations - Death

Battle on , the next week will be totally different.

Lungs

Pains in my lungs this morning since I woke and they've not gone yet.

Maybe 'the skill' has been sitting on my chest all night like an incubus, settling an old score.

Until this morning

Today I've found myself reconnecting to a skill I enjoyed for many years. As a child and as a teenager I spent long hours alone with this skill and over the years I developed it, nutured it , tamed it, even tried to master it. This skill co-operated with me and we became friends, we worked well together.

But for some reason I abondoned this skill, left it lying lonely and unwanted. It lay hidden in a tiny box within my soul. It became mean spirited and said it would never work with me again, it said that I would never be able to control and manipulate it again. It would be the master of me. I grew fearful of the skill. I contemplated making friends again, approaching the skill with new toys for us to play with : ink pens , crisp white paper, nibs, ink. I bought them all and placed them at the altar for the skill to see , but the skill said it wasn't interested...until this morning.

The skill came to me in my waking moments and said it wanted to play. It teased me out of my bed and took me to the toys . I placed them on the coffee table and without hesitation I knew exactly which game we would play. The excitement flowed, the ink danced across the page - with a little trepidation at first, but the results were good .

I do believe that I've reaquainted myself with an old friend.

Dead birthday

Taking flowers to the grave - as presents to dead people. Whats that all about?

Fear of white paper.

The Blog post = it's such an empty space ...It's like staring at a blank sheet of A1 cartridge paper with a 2B pencil in my hand ...The fear is that the first mark could make or break the masterpiece.